Lost and Found

A couple of years ago I found myself at the crossroads of life. The only dream I ever had didn’t work out for me and now I had nowhere to go and nothing to do. There I was standing alone at a very important time in life and I took a look around me. My friends from school were raging on, full steam in their respective courses towards their respective dreams. My friends from college who passed out with me, were nowhere in sight, they had raced ahead of me. Everyone was doing one of two things; living their dream or working towards their dream. And there I was, unaware of what my new dream should be. Now is a good time to let you know that I’m the kind of person who likes to have the answers to questions, who likes to know what’s going to happen tomorrow. And standing there, at the crucial junction of life, I didn’t have the slightest clue what I was going to do. I cannot begin to tell you how frustrating that is. (P.S: It’s like an OCD thing)

I did what every young adult at that age would do; Waste time. Avoid the problem at hand. I watched TV, ate my favorite food and even took a vacation. But I didn’t enjoy a single minute of this because the uneasiness was there. I was so restless. Not knowing is a tumultuous feeling. And to be honest, I was a wreck. I may be many things but sitting jobless is something I couldn’t handle. And I did the next thing that came into my mind. I applied for any job that made sense to me. I was a science graduate who didn’t want to pursue science, so the only degree I had was not of much use to me. Luckily for me, I could write decent enough and that’s how I landed my first job ever as a writer. During the interview of this job I tried convincing the interviewer that I was perfect for the job and that I really wanted to take this up. But I wasn’t convinced myself. I left feeling, uneasy and unsure. Did I really want to do this job? Is that what I pictured my life as? 10 years down the line, is that what I’m going to do? I didn’t have the answers back then.

4 years later, today I’m equipped with more experience and a dream. Yes, I have a new dream, of being the best writer I can be. And yet, I find myself at the crossroads. Not the same one; new ones, with different challenges, different choices, different difficulties. I still find myself feeling uneasy and restless. But I find solace in my own story. For I know when you surrender yourself to the universe, the universe works in a magical way to give you what was intended for you. 3 years ago if anyone had told me I could be a writer someday I probably would have laughed. Yet, here I am, writing. So for people like me, who are lost at sea, not sure where they belong; just hang in there and keep faith in yourself and in the universe. It’ll come to you. I haven’t figured out everything in the world, but I have one thing figured out and that is; we could make all the plans in the world, but we could never guess the bigger plan that we are already a part of. Just play your part and your life will play along like a movie. I don’t have answers for those questions yet; but tomorrow might just bring a hint! Being lost has its own charm.

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