“Pain is temporary, Quitting lasts forever.” – Lance Armstrong
It wasn’t too long ago when I too decided to quit on a dream, a dream I had cradled for so long. It wasn’t easy, it was a sad day. The death of a dream is more tragic than the death of human body. The pain feels as powerful as the pull of black hole, only the black hole is in your body, sucking in all of your insides into a dark dungeon from where escape doesn’t look like an option. But the good news is, there is an option. Back then I didn’t know this, I didn’t see it. But a few years later, I’m older and wiser. But this understanding doesn’t come with age, nor does it come with experience. In fact I have no idea how and when a person can understand this. But to ease the process of this learning, I’ve decided to write about it (what more can I do anyway?). Here are the three types of quitters I have come across so far:
- Mr. I’ve-faced-rejections-all-the-time-hence-quitting
So this sir has been trying to achieve something for a while now. It’s his dream. And like I said earlier, I know exactly how important a dream is. But for whatever reason it’s not going as per his plan right now. Rejection has been staring right in his face for the past one year. And that’s just too damn tough to deal with (I personally have faced rejection too, and know exactly how painful it can be). So what does he do? He quits trying. In fact he wants to quit living all together. Why, you ask? Because what’s a man without a dream? It’s like a body without a soul, like a song without the beats, like a book without the words… okay, you get the point. So after all this time of facing rejections, today, he wakes up and decides to quit. When you don’t get what you want, what more can you expect out of a person? What’s the point of living such a life? Solution? End life.
- Mr. I-don’t-like-monotony-hence-quitting
This is a very peculiar kind of a person. So this is a man who has everything he needs to be happy; a career he chose for himself, a family who supports him and a relationship that he willingly got into. Yet today, he is quitting. Why? Because monotony has crept in and monotony is a dangerous evil. He is right you know? Monotony is scary and it’s a threat in every relationship. Imagine doing the same thing every day, eating the same food, wearing the same clothes, loving the same people and living the same life till the day you die? The thought itself is mind-numbing scary! So what’s the best way out of such a threat? Quit the relationship. Simple. Problem solved. Well that’s definitely one way to deal with it.
- Mr. Whatever-I-touch-turns-to-dust-hence-quitting
Now this is the most common type of a quitter. He has tried, struggled but everything he touches, turns to dust. Now is that some conspiracy by the universe or what? The whole universe is conspiring against this one person from living a happy and fulfilling life. Absolutely! Now I understand the predicament of these people. They see everyone around them happy and content and they are the only ones who are suffering. Often they question God on why they were put on this Earth anyway? They don’t see to have any purpose and whatever they try, is wasted. So that’s it. They don’t even want to try anymore. No effort is better than wasted effort right?
The first point I want to make is that the types of quitters I have mentioned all have a Mr. title and that is purely by chance. In fact two of the three quitters that I have mentioned are girls I know in real life. So please just ignore that and don’t accuse me of being a feminist (who would have thought that would be negative one day?).
The second and the last point that I want to make is that these three people have such a defeatist attitude that after reading this also they would go, ‘it’s easy for her to say this, she doesn’t know what I’m going through.’ But I do. I have gone through all of these phases. Okay, maybe not all. But I’ve known people who have battled this mindset and I’ve known them closely. So I know. It doesn’t make me an expert but nevertheless it gives me the chance to show you something that you might not be able to see currently.
Please remember to solve problems pragmatically. There is a reason why we are taught math in school, not just to actually learn how to count but to teach us the basic lesson that every problem has a solution and that many times it can be derived from the problem itself. We often tend to dramatize our life and the situations that we face. The solutions however, arise the moment you look at the problem pragmatically. Now is a good time to mention that I’m a control freak, over analytical person who will sit down and make a flow chart before deciding what choice to make. Yet, my heart rules over my mind. Yes, it’s not a very steady balance. I’m learning to deal with it too. But the idea is to deal with things mathematically. I gave up my dream, unwillingly because I realized that it wasn’t the time for me yet. I realized that my time would come later. Maybe, maybe not… but it’s the uncertainty that keeps us going. Quitting means you deny yourself that chance. You need to keep moving forward so as to let the universe take its course of action. Now moving forwards could be in any direction you want, please understand it could also be the wrong direction. But life is in movement. And movement alone will get you to your destination, even if that means you got to pass by the wrong road.
It’s okay to be scared, at least you’re feeling. As opposed to quitting, the only feeling you’d have then is regret. And trust me, you don’t want that. Quit being a defeatist and that’s all the quitting you’ll ever have to do.