Birthday Wishes and Flickering Candles

I’ve struggled a lot for the past month to come up with something to write. It’s not writer’s block, it’s not laziness, it’s just I didn’t have anything to say. Most of my posts on my blog are personal and while a lot has been happening on the personal front, there was nothing worthwhile for me to share. Until today, when I realized another year has gone by and I’m turning 27. Now, this isn’t any milestone birthday nor do I have some great plans for this year, but I just realized that this is an important one for one simple reason. The last year has been rewarding, challenging and an outright uphill task to go through, yet I survived it. I can’t say I flourished, but I did survive. Survival – that’s the key element, that’s the reason for this post.

P.S: Yes, I’m going to do birthday lessons. I’m not too old to do them and I’m just young enough to add to them! Also, it’s kind of explicit, so please be warned.

Here are 10 learnings that I stumbled upon as I crawled my way out of this past year:

  1. People are dicks.

The faster you learn this, the better. Friends, family, relationships, colleagues – whoever it is that is important for you, know this, they are dicks. People in general always remember the number one rule of animal kingdom, ‘survival of the fittest’ and for this they won’t think twice before trampling over you and your ‘petty’ emotions. So please learn to be selfish because no one will care for your needs as much as you yourself can.

  1. There is no such thing as rock bottom.

God (or for the atheists, life/nature/luck etc.), takes up every challenge to prove you wrong whenever you feel you’ve hit rock bottom. Sure, at this point of time you might feel that you’re at your lowest and it can’t get worse than this. Please remember, there are so many things we take for granted that we think we can’t be robbed of them. Family, able bodies, functioning organs, a job (however horrible it may be) – these are all things that keep you afloat. Because trust me, there are hundred more ways you can go down an endless dark hole so deep that you’ll wish you were at rock bottom.

  1. Tears are your best friend.

Whoever said you are weak when you cry is an absolute moron. The more you grow up, the more you’ll realize that crying only makes you stronger. And you’ll cry more often than ever before. You’ll cry because the hero gets the girl, you’ll cry because you watched the last season on Netflix, you’ll cry because your boss wrote you a mean email even though it was your fault… Basically, you’ll cry a whole lot before you realize that crying is the only remedy to calm you down. Trust me, you can fight a war after you’ve cried in the bathroom for a little while.

  1. Loneliness is inevitable.

The older you grow and the more mature you get, you tend to notice that almost always you’re the only person who can understand yourself. People you love may sympathize with you and if you’re lucky they may empathize with you. But you won’t find anyone to rely on when you hit choppy waters. You will find yourself feeling alone, always. Because fact is no one will ever be there for you, like yourself. So being lonely is totally cool, poetic even!

  1. Being happy is being able to be at peace.

Our definition of happiness keeps changing depending on where we are at different points of life. And that’s called evolution. But when you get a little more independent and mature than you used to be, you’ll realize that happiness for you is just being able to be at peace with everything that’s going wrong around you. You know that time when you poured yourself rum and coke and drank it out of a plastic cup as you saw your own life from the sidelines as if it were a movie? That’s happiness.

  1. Art is the answer.

Whether you’re a movie enthusiast or a connoisseur of paintings, you’ll find that as you get older, art provides you with answers to questions you’ve always been afraid to ask. The chaos of real life finds a semblance of order in the throes of artistic expression. You won’t even know when you’ve become an art aficionado. And that will slowly become the best part of your day.

  1. The illusion of love is real.

By a certain age and a certain number of relationships, you’ll come to find yourself no longer chasing love. The cheesy and magical love you grew up dreaming of will be something you will acquire, but you will long for the realness that comes at the end of a long exhausting week when you wish you could put your stinky feet up and have someone watch you crib about all of life. Love is when you will find that one person who will tirelessly carry you on his back even though he has burdens of his own, knowing fully well that you will do the same for him. And for a love like that, you will wait. However long it takes.

  1. Food is everything.

No, I’m not talking about binge eating/eating disorders. I’m talking about comfort food. The term, if you know, was coined for adults who under emotional stress turn to food that is associated with their childhood or a memory that makes them feel safe. Comfort food is real and you’ll realize that there are only a few things that make you as comfortable as your mom’s special dal chawal or that brownie that you and your sister used to whip up as kids. Food, whether eating or cooking, will turn out to be the most effective therapy you will ever need.

  1. You have your own haven.

A song, a meal, a place, a long drive or just a cozy corner; you will create a safe haven where you can be completely naked with your thoughts. There are moments where you will go batshit crazy and at that point of time, to calm yourself down and to get back to normalcy, you need your safe haven. This is the place where you are as God created you. There are no inhibitions, there are no masks you have to wear, there is no societal norm – it’s just you, unapologetically you. And it’s amazing. You are amazing, here.

  1. Living in a bubble is great.

We’ve all heard that living in a bubble is akin to living in denial. You know what? That’s rubbish. The world is going crazy, and the ‘society’ we live in is going to drag us into the muck if we continue to live by their rules. So, keep everything at a safe distance. It might seem insensitive and cold to some, but you’re only answerable to yourself. They’re not living your life, you are. And you know what can drive you crazy, so, keep that away from you and surround yourself with things that make you happy. You’re still living in the same world, aware of everything that’s happening around you. You just are mature enough to make a choice to not let it affect your mental peace. That is called growing up.

Guess I’m right on track!

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2 thoughts on “Birthday Wishes and Flickering Candles

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